Bad days and good days. It's all in my mind

I typically don't write about my mental illness. It's too revealing and I hate the stigma and misunderstanding what bipolar means

The important thing to know is that I'm not in control of my brain chemistry but I can  control how I appear to others. Unless it's severe.  I assume it's triggers, but maybe it's the opposite.  When I'm depressed I find myself bringing triggers into my head which then sets up an avalanche of fear and worry about things that did happen and worry they might happen again.

Ben has no memory of even a bit of what he did and sAid. It's gone. But I. ant forget any of it when I'm in the midst of a depression 

There is the belief he lied then and after what he wants me to know. But I know it was more than just him getting rid of her  he was obsessed  with her. He changed everingthing and I was left alone and crazy