I see Ben reads my blog now, or at least enough of it to say "you write about me - but I'm right here! " Yes I do and I will continue to since this blog is really for me and Ben is my favorite topic.
I wonder if I've left a hole in the world where I used to obsess over posts on social media. I felt I had to. And for years it held be captive...needing to see... to know. And KABOOM now it's nothing! I proud of myself finding the confidence to let it go. The longer I focus on what matters now in my life the happier I am. Soon even the thought of it will be nothing. leaving no mark on my life.
By avoiding (and sometimes blocking) people on social media is a bit like Sookie Stackhouse uninviting a vampire into her home. It's amazing the power of a closed (and locked) door.
Thursday, July 24, 2014
Friday, July 18, 2014
You complete me - no matter what
Corny but true. What Ben and I achieve together is greater than either of us could do on our own. Since we put the effort into meeting people, doing more local work both websites and photography we have a pretty healthy work schedule.
I look around this house and I can't imagine it without him, same with the businesses. Without Ben, my life and work would be empty and unbelievably sad. Part of my crazy brain (but not crazy at the moment) is the worry. I young woman - 25- married the love of her life also 25 last August. He fell off a boat into a lake and vanished. They found his body days later. They were so much a part of the hip young Canton crowd. It brings me back to appreciating what Ben and I have and all those "you know I love you more than anything" the fierce hugs, the teasing, and finally an open book, He gave me all the keys to his castle - social media, chat, twitter, facebook, Google+. I can open any of his devises and look at anything, though more and more I don't. I now see all of him and I would never risk loosing him. We are a bond, a business, a love, and role models for most everyone we meet. We go everywhere together as much as possible. (he hates errands and I don't force him to visit my mother) I drive. He rides.
I'm not trying to claim him or force him (well, I have encouraged him to wear his wedding ring and he is.) He us of free will as I am. He is hit on every time we photograph a band in a bar.(though mostly by drunk young women) and I am hit on by "old" men (by my standards that's anyone 50 and older. We tell each other and we laugh. I know he will never take them up to meet them and certainly not for sex. No matter how upset we might feel with each other, that is never going to happen. I kicked the habit over 15 years ago - still embarrassed and hate myself for it. But not once has it crossed my mind. To me my husband is the most wonderful adorable person in my world.
When ever I doubt, I go to bed with his legs and body all tangled up with mine and realize this is every night. Pushed together so tight.
I love him completely and forever, no matter what.
I look around this house and I can't imagine it without him, same with the businesses. Without Ben, my life and work would be empty and unbelievably sad. Part of my crazy brain (but not crazy at the moment) is the worry. I young woman - 25- married the love of her life also 25 last August. He fell off a boat into a lake and vanished. They found his body days later. They were so much a part of the hip young Canton crowd. It brings me back to appreciating what Ben and I have and all those "you know I love you more than anything" the fierce hugs, the teasing, and finally an open book, He gave me all the keys to his castle - social media, chat, twitter, facebook, Google+. I can open any of his devises and look at anything, though more and more I don't. I now see all of him and I would never risk loosing him. We are a bond, a business, a love, and role models for most everyone we meet. We go everywhere together as much as possible. (he hates errands and I don't force him to visit my mother) I drive. He rides.
I'm not trying to claim him or force him (well, I have encouraged him to wear his wedding ring and he is.) He us of free will as I am. He is hit on every time we photograph a band in a bar.(though mostly by drunk young women) and I am hit on by "old" men (by my standards that's anyone 50 and older. We tell each other and we laugh. I know he will never take them up to meet them and certainly not for sex. No matter how upset we might feel with each other, that is never going to happen. I kicked the habit over 15 years ago - still embarrassed and hate myself for it. But not once has it crossed my mind. To me my husband is the most wonderful adorable person in my world.
When ever I doubt, I go to bed with his legs and body all tangled up with mine and realize this is every night. Pushed together so tight.
I love him completely and forever, no matter what.
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