No words

No Words

Bastard

I was just 21 and obviously naive. You weren't the first to take advantage of that. My boss at the pub where I worked had tried just a week before. He kissed me - then tried to fondle me. Seems by letting him kiss me I was a "c--k tease." By asking him to stop I was a "bitch."

Predator

In the middle of showing my portfolio to a Portland art director - he got up and locked the door. He explained how his instant amorous behavior was caused by the green eyeshadow I was wearing. I got out of his office by promising to go to lunch with him.

Abuser

Certainly it was nativity that led me to have an affair with an co-worker. At 20, I had only been with oppressive my husband. The co-worker took me to lunches that felt like dates. I was spellbound by the interest he showed in me, but once the relationship turned sexual - I became his victim. He used me up. When I told him my marriage was over, he said, "I am not your friend."

Pretender

I was easy prey for you. You knew everyone who worked at the pub and they all treated you like a friend. You had me believing you cared for me. All you really had to do was listen, and smile, and hold my hand. I'd been through so much. You were so strong and you seemed so sweet. It was nothing to get me into your bed.

Opportunist

I woke up that morning needing to let out the pain I was feeling. I went to my art desk, picked up an exacto blade and began making tiny cuts on my arm. There was no one there to stop me. The boyfriend was at work and he'd told me that morning we were through. He'd found out about you. My ex husband was suing me. I cut and cut and bled and cried and the phone rang. I told you what I was doing. You told me to come over.

Rapist

You really didn't need the pills you gave me. I walked in numb. My makeup was running down my face as you got out your camera. Whoever you were taking photos of surely it wasn't me. I was somewhere else, barely aware you were talking me out of my clothes bit by bit, click by click. There was moment of calm as you laid me on your bed upstairs. I trusted you. I thought you were going to hold me while I slept. I wanted to sleep. I was going to sleep, until I saw the camera on the tripod. I was groggy, pleading with you to stop. I was saying "NO!" as you raped her to the rhythmic sounds of the automatic shutter.

At the time, I blamed myself for what you did to me. I never reported it. Months later you called and suggested I should come over and we'd look at the photos you'd taken of me.

There is no word for that.