Signs of mental illness

I've been talking a  lot to Ben and my kids about what it was like growing up with my untreated Bi Polar. Much like my last post, I would focus on something and it would bounce around in my head until I exploded. Not knowing how to interact with me, they either got out of my way, or tried to reason with me. Typically I was unreasonable, and any of them could end up the focus of my frustration.  Who could help a manic mess who's screaming about how no one cleans the floors, etc. They didn't have a diagnosis to explain my bizarre and unexpected behaviors, but they could see that there were moments before a total melt down where there were 2 things I needed that might calm me if I could verbalize them and then receive them.

Cas and Aaron talked about making 2 signs. The first one "I need help." and the second "I need a hug." Simple, but very true. When my mania had not yet taken hold of my mind and was driving it to do and think crazy things, all I really needed was for someone to understand my unsettled mind. Before meltdown, I craved  human contact with the ones I love. If I'd had signs, I would have words for what I was needing. Even in the midst of a breakdown, I could use the signs to let my loved ones know it was not them I was upset with, but myself.

I think it's time I made these signs.