Enough should be enough

Senior year- girls are sprouting diamonds. Others have promise rings or boy's class rings wound in red thread (orange and black on game days). You and I are a couple, but my social standing has slipped under the radar. Your shiny blue sports car was not enough for me to be seen as one of the popular. It was now overshadowed by strategically positioned PDAs - the girl's left hand draped "just so" to catch everyone's eyes on the way to next class. I wanted Mr.Now become Mr. Future. --- Envy

My diamond was a gift from Grandma Dee Dee. It came to me at 7 as part of some unexplained tradition and it was my secret treasure. I'd been told it was a lantern cut- old style- used in the mines. I marched myself to the (only) jeweler in town. Sliding the ring across the table I saw a white gold wedding set. I ponied up all the money I had for that set, then told you I wanted you to give it to me for Christmas. Selling point, "it did not cost you anything!" --- Compulsion

Your mother found the ring. So instead, your gift to me a tiny silver ring with a fake diamond to go on my charm bracelet. I had picked it out. I insisted you  find me a promise ring. You bought me a souvenir ring from Colorado Springs - floral leaves of colored flexible gold. Your selling point, "when you hold it to the light the colored gold looks like a diamond!" Where the ring touched my skin, it turned black. By the time I got my diamond engagement ring, High School was over. There were no more strategic positions for PDA to flash my ring.  --- Kharma

Gunnison was an "ok" college and I knew you could get in. My grades could have gotten me in anywhere. You traded your sports car for a VW Camper. We rode the numerous mountain passes from home to school in sleeping bags, the bus was seldom able to run faster than 40mph. I should remember good times, laughing, deep conversions, shared interests - but I don't. I can't see past the memories of how I felt at the time. ---Trapped.

I found no scholastic challenge in Gunnison, and I could not face another attempt at sex in the back of the freezing VW van. Second quarter I had us transferred to Fort Collins, where you and your friends could rent an apartment. I barely slept in my dorm and spend no time connection with my roommates.--- Isolated.

Summer came and I picked the church, music, cake, dress, everything. We had no friends in attendance, only family and older members of the church. We could not toast with Champagne as we were 19 and 20. I had pushed you into this - it was obvious by the tears that were streaming down your face as we walked back down the isle. --- Confusion

We drove off with encouragement and cans dragging but neither of us was smiling. When we got to our first motel - you dashed into the bathroom and took a shower while I called "home'" collect from Deborah Crimond. My father told the operator he did not know a Deborah Crimond. ---Rejected.

I'd been playing, gathering things that I thought would make me feel grownup and in control. I had wanted it all. My father's voice denouncing my prior life set something in motion I could stop. It seemed there would never be enough of anything to fill the void inside me. ---Depression