Description of a stuck day

Knowing I need to gather all the tax info for our business (daunting task) and for my mom and for our trust fund has me running in the other direction. I know, if I just DO it I will feel AMAZING. But I don't. I find other things to fill my mind - other projects that could be put off. I make mistakes and gain a bit more anxiety with each one.

On a Stuck Day, I have no one to blame, so it's obvious that I am here on my own power. I'm not reacting inappropriately to teasing, or tearing my hair out for things on my list I haven't done, Instead I move them from today's list (from weeks of today) to tomorrow's list. But it reminds me of what I am doing to myself. It's a hole. I'm in it about up to my chest and there's pressure there. I am breathing to shallow. Need to relax...

I woke up from dreams where I knew what today would be. I did my best to move through with purpose and calm, but it only made the day smaller somehow.

A Stuck Day is one where I am surrounded by jello. I can only move a little and can't get out at all. There is no swimming to the top. No one can reach in and pull me out. My mind does not race like manic days, but a part of it wants to kick manic in the butt to get me out of here.

I see things I would enjoy doing and I avoid them.

I fear communicating because maybe I'll tip my hand and will forever be seen as a flake.

There is nothing left to do but zone out.

Leave the planet.

Wrap myself up in a blanket of thick soft nothing and when the day is done, go to bed and say how tomorrow will be better. I will be energetic and happy and able to breeze through all the detail stuff.

Tomorrow.