You tempt me with possibilities I can't ignore. My desire for change is so great, how could I not trust you blindly? It's always worked, and yet, this time I am less than calm about the outcome. What I might have seen as your hand pointing the way might just as easily be my own hand grasping at air.
Fate or mistake. They even rhyme. How poetic.
So many choices in my life, all made with the belief that what will be will be. "If it's meant to be it will be" "That's just the way it is" "Trust your instincts" "Everything happens for a reason."
What if the reason this time is to point out how I cover what could be a mistake with a layer of fate? Fate cake. Could be perfect chocolaty goodness or christmas fruit cake. Could be urinal cake. Can you really have your cake and eat it too? Eating crow. Crow cake. My mind refuses to be quiet and keeps filling the unknowing with crumbs to follow. Did I get here on my own? Can I follow the crumbs and find my way back? Straight as the crow flies. Piece of cake.
This turn in my life's path is not just mine. I seem to be taking so much of my world along with me. Friends wonder if I'll ever come back. My children wonder if I'm on this path to leave them behind.
So many questions to answer.
But really - I have no answers. I just decided.
I went on a date with you and got fate raped.
Or maybe I wanted it.
We're going steady, you and I.
You know what's going to happen.
I don't.
4 comments:
simply amazing
The day I closed on my new home in Ohio, I got an offer on my home in CA. The offer was for cash and the closing came before the first payment was due in Ohio.
I wrote this when I began to question my trust in the unknown. I'd leaped. It was looking like I was going to hit the ground hard.
Fate truly was teasing me.
"I went on a date with you and got fate raped."
i love that expression. i've never heard it before! that's great.
your blog is rad, hun. x
thank you so much Aella!
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