it starts here - done being abused by ben . 7-16

I'm done being abused.

He doesn't hit me, but it doesn't mean I feel safe. I have lived under his mental and verbal abuse for 21 years. He of course would and does claim the abuser is me. But I don't chase him around the house screaming at him to do what I want him to do or I'll not sign the divorce papers. I don't scream what a horrible person he is and how I hate him and he is the worst thing that ever happened to me. But that one would be true. He is. He starts screaming and chasing me insisting I talk or agree or sign some paper that gives him more of the money from our work. He's gotten so scary that I am afraid to be in my own home. I don't trust him. He's hurt me before and his threats are now coming everyday. He says he's my friend. Then attacks again. I've been beaten down to the point I run from my home to escape the abuse. And he wins. If he can get me to leave for the night he moves his girlfriend and her kids in for a sleepover. It's disgusting and it leaves me crying and just wanting to be home alone with him gone. I want this nightmare to stop. I want the abusive mental pain to stop. So today I stop being a victim and taking back my house, my business, my life.

I ran tonight from an insane man. Husband. Separated but still here while he gets the girlfriend he cheated with. 6 months after I found the porn of the two of them fucking on his camera. His professional camera that he insisted I let him buy. I let him have it all. No matter what I do, or how nice I am it doesn't stop his abuse. When he goes off and starts the tantrum I know I'm screwed. I cave. I hide. I run. But my separation agreement says the wife has possession of the home. And I need to take it back.

My friends tonight made it clear it's a fight. I hold all the cards. Fight back. Make him leave. The next time he starts the verbal abuse when I'm feeling helpless and scared. I call 911. Cops come I tell them that I'm afraid for my personal safety that he'll hurt me ( I am) I tell them I want him to leave. I show them the agreement where I have possession of the house. He will be walked out. I can get a TPO. I can insist he sleeps somewhere else. I might let him work here. Unless  he does it again. Seems he could go to jail for going against a restraining order.

So today.
Or tomorrow.
He starts, I record, I call. They make him leave. I gain back my life.

Soon.

Yes, I'm terrified. What if it makes it worse. But my friends helped me see. It can't get worse unless it escalates because I did not call.

So soon