The Reluctant Model

Having him taking photos of me is getting a little easier. I hate having my picture taken. I assume every shot will embarrass me more than the last. It's not me getting older, it's about me not knowing how to show the camera who I am. I hear "smile" and I cycle through all the muscle movements that lift the corners of my mouth. But where do I stop and find an honest smile? Truth is, I don't know. I see myself as being happy, but the camera sees solemn. I think about smiles with teeth, and I look mental. It comes down to this, when I was overwhelmed as a child, my mom told me if I would just smile, I would be happy. Perhaps that's why all my photo "smiles" have looked fake. I never learned to smile. I have so much to smile about now. I am so very happy.

So Ben is helping me learn to be myself in front a camera. He's posing me and directing me, and taking my stress away. He's helping me learn to smile... Not just in front of the camera, but everyday.